Parenting Self-Care During Challenging Times: Guidance From a Couples Therapist
Parenting has been one of the most demanding and unexpected parts of my busy life and the most important for my overall life purpose as a couples therapist parent. Self-care may not have been role modeled to us or an option if our family’s resources were tight growing up, AND the research is pretty clear- Self-Care is a requirement for parents, or bad things happen to all parties. In my work with couples therapy, I’ve seen how a lack of self-care not only strains parenting but also weakens the bond between partners. Please hear this coming from a couple’s therapist as well. This is vital for your relationship with yourself, with your partner, your children, and your family members. Taking time to recharge helps you be more patient, present, and connected with your kids, allowing both to enjoy the experience more optimally, while promoting a healthy, secure attachment. Modeling self-care teaches your children balance. When they see you setting boundaries and prioritizing well-being for yourself and your relationship, they learn to do the same.
You're probably saying, "Yeah, yeah, I don't have time for that..." I know, I know, your days fill with work meetings, kid appointments, family commitments, practice schedules, or other obligations that take priority over you and what you need at the end of the day. I’m here to help. I encourage you to try at least one of these tips every day for the rest of the week. If it helps, finish the month and then check in with yourself. Was it helpful for you?
10 Tips for Effective Self-Care for Parents
Tip 1.
Schedule a break today. You put everything else in your calendar, so try adding a break for yourself right now, just do it. It can be a 4-minute exercise regimen, a 10-minute meditation break, a 30-minute power nap, 20-minute walk around the neighborhood, whatever it is, just make it a priority!
Tip 2.
Try journaling. Write down something you are grateful for each day and share with your family at dinner. If you don’t enjoy the act of writing, try voice memos; they are great! This practice can be powerful for changing neural pathways.
Tip 3.
Text or call a friend or family member you haven't talked to in a while and share three positive things that have happened to you since the last time you talked to them—then ask to hear three from them. Leading with gratefulness and positivity allows the brain to think of those things, neural pathways that wire together stick together!
Tip 4.
Movement and music, 10 minutes to do squats, pushups, burpees, or a quick sprint or dance session can really invigorate the brain and body for positivity.
Tip 5.
Laugh! Find a funny video or look up jokes to share with your kids and see if you can make them laugh as well! Laughter reduces stress and improves moods, 10/10 recommend!
Tip 6.
End your day with a relaxing screen-free routine. After the kids are in bed, take time away from screens to read (no screens between 8 pm-8 am ideally), take a bath, or practice 5 minutes of breathing and somatic release work can be powerful at the end of the day. Cultivating 3 aspects of gratefulness or appreciation for what occurred that day also allows for the brain to go towards those more naturally in the future.
Tip 7.
Schedule your personal time, as busy parents - they are often taking care of all of the generations around them, and often not pouring into their own cup due to the world relying on them. Many parents tell me - uninterrupted rest is a priority, but cannot be prioritized without planning and asking for support. So do it! Schedule every 90 days a 3-day weekend away or once a year - a small getaway away from the dependents to refresh and recharge the batteries. So good for stress and prevention of burnout, but must be maintained regularly! Planning this at normal intervals is a good self-care tip for those who look forward to these events.
Tip 8.
Get back to the basics, drinking enough water, eating nutritious, well-balanced meals (eat the rainbow), and prioritizing sleep, allows for more ability to handle parental stress, which helps the whole family system heal their nervous system.
Tip 9.
Spend time highlighting what you did right as a parent that day, make a mental or written note so you can be reminded of it when low. This is a powerful practice to do regularly; share it with your partner for added benefits!
Tip 10.
Connection is the magic for many parents; they need to find connection to self, their partner, their children, and their friends/family as their self-care. This is tricky to balance for individual and couple self-care, check in with each other, and see which one is best for you both today. Should we do something individually or together to restore? Prioritize a healthy balance of both for your nervous system, it’s for your health and longevity, also role modeling to your kids & family members that YOU are important, lovable, and worthy of time with others. This impacts them as well and encourages them to do the same for themselves.
Amy’s Final Thoughts
You don’t have to be a perfect parent to be a great one. Give yourself grace, take breaks, and remember that self-care makes you stronger for your family. At Amy Anderson Therapy, we believe that a regulated parent helps create a regulated child and reduces anxiety, depression, and stress. Taking time to manage your stress leads to a more peaceful and emotionally healthy you, a stronger couple relationship, and healthier family dynamics at home.
Finding Balance as Parents Through Couples Therapy in San Diego, CA
Parenting is rewarding but can feel overwhelming without intentional self-care. If you’re searching for support through couples therapy in San Diego, CA, know that taking this step can strengthen both your relationship and your family. Reach out to Amy Anderson Therapy today and begin creating space for connection, balance, and healing. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Schedule your free 15-minute consultation to explore if couples therapy in San Diego, CA is right for you.
Begin working with compassionate couples therapist, Amy Anderson.
Start finding balance as parents!
Additional Services Offered at Amy Anderson Therapy
At Amy Anderson Therapy, I specialize in supporting parents through couples therapy, helping them restore balance in daily life while also guiding partners to strengthen their bond, communicate more effectively, and reduce conflict before it escalates. My approach is compassionate and trauma-informed, tailored to meet the needs of both individuals and couples who are ready to heal and grow. Within my couples work, I assist with rebuilding trust after infidelity, addressing challenges tied to ADHD or unresolved trauma, and cultivating deeper emotional closeness. I also work with individuals managing anxiety, betrayal trauma, infertility, and the unique realities connected to neurodivergent identities. The practice welcomes polyamorous partnerships, non-traditional families, and professionals in demanding careers such as healthcare, military, emergency services, and law enforcement. For clients interested in alternative paths, I provide walk-and-talk therapy that combines movement with mindfulness, as well as psychedelic-assisted therapy (PAT) to support profound healing. You’re invited to explore the blog for resources on trauma recovery, relationship building, and holistic well-being.
